Robin Hawke

Three Pigs, Recast
September 25, 2011, 8:45 PM
Filed under: All Writing Challenges

True fairy tales are horror stories that come right. This one never comes right.

They roamed the halls of the venerable institution, answering questions, smiling with waxy lips on balding heads. They taught: French, Literature, Liberal Arts. They went home to wives, returned to give another brilliant lecture. Respected, they were entrusted to give one of the finest educations in the country.

The school was home to hundreds of boarding girls. In Victorian hallways, these girls flirted with mischief. They made prank calls, smoked in the dark, short-sheeted beds.

Tamara’s mischief went further; she slept with the Language Arts teacher.

Meagan issued invitations to a celebratory dance to be held graduation eve. Naughty, risky—no boys were ever allowed in the dorms. Ever.

Pammie loved to dance. It was her graduation evening too. The music drummed at the end of the hall, calling her to hurry up with that curling iron. Tonight, bells would forget curfew. They’d dance as long as they wanted, stay up until morning—when they’d wear long white dresses and carry blood red roses to receive the diplomas that marked the end of their lives together.

She stopped in the doorway of Meagan’s room, surprised to see faculty, fascinated with a spectacle. Couples swayed, kissed. The kisses went on and on, until the music stopped. Dancers exchanged partners. The music and kisses started again. Meagan was opening her mouth, so were the others. The tall men closed their eyes, licked their lips. Pammie held her ground, didn’t cross the threshold, wouldn’t dance, never spoke.

Read entries to this month's "Fairy Tale" challenge.

8 Comments so far
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Oooh. Very creepy. 😀

Comment by Sonia G Medeiros

Too creepy for me…almost didn’t post. Still worry about it. Robin

Comment by Robin Hawke

[…] Three Pigs Recast by Robin Hawke […]

Pingback by October/November Writing Challenge – Masks | Sonia G Medeiros

Upsetting, but incisive. I’m not entirely sure I like it (I’d need a longer version to be sure), but I definitely admire it!

Comment by Shadlyn

I’d love to hear what parts you think need lengthening. Thanks for the comment, Robin

Comment by Robin Hawke

Well, setting aside the whole micro-fiction thing, I would expect to see more about the very upsetting relationships and why two out of three “fall down”. And, of course, why the third makes it out alive.

Unless the point is that two out of three were at the party, and the third stayed outside.

Which works, but my brain didn’t read it that way the first time. This seemed more like the lead-up, the building of the houses, as it were. Looking at it again, I think the “building the houses” is the description of each girl’s sins.

So yeah, I found the story disturbing just below the level of conscious control. The combination of the situation and your really excellent thumbnail descriptions of the professors made the whole thing…unsettling.

Comment by Shadlyn

Interesting…I wasn’t thinking of sins; I thought of the houses as moral codes the girls were building. The point I hoped to make: Morality is something that takes human support and guidance (vs. a wolf’s appetite). Thank you for stopping by and analyzing your reactions…it helps me become a better writer.


Comment by Robin Hawke

Creepy, creepy men. I also found it disturbing but a complete experience.

Comment by xoxdede

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