Robin Hawke


Friday’s Voice
September 30, 2011, 2:26 PM
Filed under: All Writing Challenges | Tags:

There are many of us, volunteers for this detail. I recognize a few: Ambrose in First Class; Diona on pilot duty. I almost stop to soothe the crying infant, but I slip behind Charity, her given name.

Richard’s preflight duties wrap up; Nigella waits for him in back.  The passengers’ blood pressure drops when the baby latches to Rosalie’s breast. She hums, all the while relieving Laura’s earache. “London Bridge is…”  I feel a tight impulse to abandon my mission.

I know what’s coming. I’m resigned. The white noise, the chime of the bell, the captain speaking, all these noises lull the passengers into thinking this is like every other ride in the sky.

Passengers scream; the women are always louder than the men. Several times, Richard yells, “Keep Calm,”  a bass beat attempting to deter fear.

Seconds later, we catch each soul in tight embrace. Charity hugs me back. Her eyes shine with regret. I know she wants to eat her mother’s chicken and pick from her husband’s necktie collection one more time.

Voice Week 2011

Click to read more voices.

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9 Comments so far
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oh, Robin! WHOA! Totally took me by surprise, and the way you’ve wrapped up this week is really great. Angellic beings – or spiritual beings – who have come to help those on this side over to the next. There’s such a humanness about the voices – like regret, and yet a detachment to get the job done. The dynamic is really really great.

Comment by Janece

I was hoping to do that! Thanks! Robin

Comment by robinhawke

Wow. Wow, wow, wow. It took me awhile to read it ’cause I kept going back to the beginning to re-read, but it all made sense in the end. I particularly love how he/she/it knows every name. Brilliant. Beautiful.

Comment by bekindrewrite

The first draft was 200 words, edited down to 120 but kept returning phrases. That first paragraph may need a few more words. It’s tough getting all the passengers in place and all their shadows on board in a few sentences! Once that happens, it’s an easier read.

Thanks for the comments, Robin

Comment by robinhawke

[…] Read the rest: Friday’s Voice « Robin Hawke. […]

Pingback by Friday’s Voice « Robin Hawke « Voice Week HQ

Oh, my. This is an incredible end to the preceding stories. I never saw it coming! And yet, as tragic as it is, it is beautiful. Wow. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your work this week and will be sure to follow what’s to come in the future. Thanks for the ride.

Comment by scribbla

Well done! Sad but tremendous ending.

Comment by Billie Jo Woods

Hey, this is brilliant! I kept re-reading that short few paragraphs! Thanks for stopping by my blog too 🙂

Comment by lynnette-net

Your story is so out of the box, and I love it! 🙂

Comment by thewriteproject




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