Robin Hawke


Occupation
October 20, 2011, 3:26 PM
Filed under: All Writing Challenges

Shots are fired, but we don’t take any casualties.  Taking cover, we keep moving by following the creek; it’s downhill and nearby vegetation provides cover. The water tastes good. I’m surprised—we’re getting close. I scream as I grab a young female, push her forward. Some of the new ones don’t always maintain the pace. I give a battle cry, am echoed by my troops. Our fervent cries inspire fear.

The vocal exchange reminds the troops we are a pack with a single purpose. We pick up the clip until we reach our target. Quietly we clamber up the hill on all fours. I motion to some trees and several troops skinny up into place. Taking cover behind a rover, I keep a lookout. The target surrounded, we’re primed to take the offensive. When a window cracks or a door slides open, we’ll be inside within minutes.

Imprisoned indoors, the elderly woman watched the hornbills fly away and the congress of baboons circle. She hoped she had enough food. Those monkeys would starve her out of the house if they camped for more than a week.

Click to read more...Inspiration Mondays...breaking into prison

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9 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Sounds like gorilla warfare, in more ways than one! Great use of the prompt!

Comment by Janece

Hehehe… like the twist even though you lay the hints all along. Worth the second read.

Comment by scribbla

It’s clumsy…I’ve never written maneuvers before. Don’t be surprised if you come back to find it rewritten. Still thinking about it. Robin

Comment by Robin Hawke

Nicely done! Intense and surprising.

Comment by bekindrewrite

Thanks! It stretched me, always good! Robin

Comment by Robin Hawke

Loved the “muscle” this was written with. Great intensity. More please.

Comment by Lance

At first I thought people, then zombies, then wolves. Then they climbed trees and I was lost until the reveal. Nicely Done.

Comment by Craig Towsley

Thanks for sharing your thoughts…always useful. I knew they had to climb trees, was sure the gig was up by that point! Robin

Comment by Robin Hawke

[…] Robin […]

Pingback by Inspiration Monday: my homework ate the dog « BeKindRewrite




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