Robin Hawke


Places
November 16, 2011, 5:37 PM
Filed under: All Writing Challenges | Tags: ,

“What the funk is she doing?”

“Red, back in place.”

The tiny girl in the big red cape called over her shoulder, “I’ve got to get something.”

“I think we should fire her.”

His associate shrugged.

“The money we’d save….the time…”

“How?”

They heard her yell from off set, “Where’s my bag. Who took my bag? I want my mouthwash.”

The director used the mike. “Places.”

Instead, the hooded girl walked up to his chair. “I have to show you something.” She took his hand.

“Open.”

The mechanical jaws opened at her insistence.

“Are you sure they should be that color?”

“What are you going on about?”

“Yellow. They are yellow. Tartar.”

“Don’t start that crying.”

“Go on. I dare you. Put your head in there.”

The director turned to his assistant, “Find the mouthwash.”


(I’m still pleading NaNo for the liberty I took with the prompt.)

100 Words for Grown Ups

The prompt this week is: …are you sure it should be that colour….Click to read entries.

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14 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Little red riding hood and the big bad wolf? Clever.

Comment by wcdameron

Like wcdameron, I see Little Red Riding Hood and the big bad wolf. The stage or screen production aspect is interesting, but at first confusing. It bloomed for me after a few readings with different inflections.

Comment by Sparks In Shadow

Thanks–It probably is more of a script than a story. I tried to think of tags that would help, but I’m a little brain fried this week. Glad it finally bloomed. Robin

Comment by Robin Hawke

It’s very clever and different. Well done. I had to read it a few times before I got it.

Comment by Midlife Singlemum

Took me a couple of reads too before I got it, but when I did I liked it.

Comment by Sally-Jayne

Big bad director! Very good Robin, I like it.

Comment by Ronnie/Hurtled to 60

A different take . . it works well!

Comment by gsussex

Like it….took a couple of reads tofollow, clever take.

Comment by annahalford (@anhalf)

Like the link to a fairy tale – but darker. Nice piece.

Comment by Alison Green

I enjoyed this, I liked the comedy of it. I read it twice before I got it properly. Good luck with NaNo.

Comment by PollyBurns2

lol Riding Hood is a bit of a diva!

Comment by HonieMummy (honieBuk)

Those child stars…

Comment by Robin Hawke

A very complex but fabulous piece Robin. So very clever. I just love the idea of the tartar!

Comment by jfb57

Fun and complicated. I enjoyed this.

Comment by Lisa Wields Words




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