Robin Hawke

January 8, 2012, 2:23 PM
Filed under: Three Sentence Stories

He went missing during a thunderstorm. During the thunderstorm, she drove perilously close to skidding off mountain roads. She saw the flash of a small red body cross her driveway, but it was her dread and she was too late.


6 Comments so far
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This reminded me of the song Aus und vorbei by the German group Overground. The video for that song on YouTube was what came to my mind when I read this piece. The video is rather melodramatic and corny, so I wasn’t sure if you would mind that I would post it in my comment here, so I decided not to, but a quick search on YouTube should bring it up immediately just in case you may be curious to see it. This is a great short piece, I really like it. Did she run him over, or am I completely missing the point here? In any case, great story.

Comment by Scriptor Obscura

I debated the word red. It does bring to mind a gory end; in this part of the country, it could also bring to mind a fox — so I left it in.

I may write another story to follow this one, I’ll think about it. I hate the chronology of blog posts when the end comes before the beginning.

Comment by Robin Hawke

I love that last line “…flash of a small red body cross her driveway, but it was her dread and she was too late”, it conjures up many different images and thoughts. I, too, thought she ran over something (gory results) but then I thought perhaps it was a loved one that died during the storm and she arrived too late to say her last good-byes.

Short but powerful. Great story.

Comment by Indigo Spider

That seems to be the trick–how much ambiguity to leave–in flash fiction. I wonder if there is too much in the story above; then, I think there’s just enough (based on your reaction!) Always good to hear from you.

Comment by Robin Hawke

Love your six sentences! How you can express so much in so little!

Comment by lynnette-net

Love this piece! In a brief moment I conjured up several different interpretations. I then read the posts here and see even different interpretations. Amazing how much you brought to life in those few lines!

Comment by theyellowkite

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