Robin Hawke


Property Line
March 28, 2012, 9:59 PM
Filed under: Uncategorized

They stood on each side of the chain link fence and gabbed. They pondered and gossiped and smiled. An observer wondered if they would be so comfortable talking over clipped hedges.

That first sentence is a mess, confusing. Feel free to rewrite it for me! I’m tired of fussing with computer commands. The speed of my thoughts and my writing is–for once–faster than the hourglass.

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2 Comments so far
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The chain link fence provided just enough protection for their talk.

Nah!

I like your first line.

Comment by Lisa Wields Words

I think I might tighten it up a bit. Just say “They stood on each side of the chain link fence.” because your second sentence is just a repeat of “and gabbed.”

Comment by Janet




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